How to be unhappy.
Here we are again, Happy Monday to you all!
No matter what time zone you’re in
(Even if it’s not bloody Monday yet)
I hope you’re getting the point that these emails have nothing to do with being a happy git on a Monday.
Really, they aren’t.
They’re not even about being uselessly happy any day of the week.
Because that’s simply not the goal here.
Really, what we are aiming for here is a higher sense of control over our emotions, thought patterns and behaviours.
“If you can change the way someone thinks, you can impact the way they behave, act & more importantly, react to situations” – Me, 2k18.
So really, what this ‘Happy Monday Mindset’ is aiming for is control over ourselves.
I, like everyone else, portray certain characteristics about myself in a heightened sense.
None of it is fake, but there are parts that I choose to highlight, and others I don’t.
Generally, I am seen as a happy-go-lucky type character.
You know, the person who doesn’t plan anything until the last minute – yet it all magically falls into place.
I often tell people that I am the ‘Luckiest guy in the world’ or that ‘Things work out for me’
(Which, they often do in the most hilarious ways)
I hear it all the time,
“I wish I could be happy like you”
“Man, I wish I had your drive/positivity/want to work out/fantastic sense of humour”
(Disclaimer, some of these I may have heard, some of these I may not have)
The thing is: YOU FUCKING CAN.
Listen, I have my stressors. I have issues with anxiety at times. I have triggers for meltdowns around work, money & time.
I am just a regular bloke, trying his best to be positive & give positivity.
You can be that type of person too.
But to be honest, I’m getting tired of telling everyone this week after week.
So, instead of me telling you how to have a good life,
Let me educate you on how to have a shit life, 101.
How to be unhappy.
- Stay inside all day
- Never invest in your own personal development (books, exercise, self-development)
- Move as little as possible
- Blame other people for your situation
- Never over commit yourself to any one thing
- Take yourself too seriously
- Take life too seriously
- Look for reasons why things won’t work (if you look for them, you’re sure to find them)
- Resent the ‘lucky’ and successful
- Never say hello first
- Don’t look to be better, look to bring others down.
- Never congratulate anyone else
- Believe that people only become successful because they got lucky
- Never say Happy Monday
- Allow others lives & opinions shape your future
- Surround yourself with people who share your views and beliefs
- Take everything very personally
- Don’t put your trolley away
- Don’t listen to ‘Lovely Day’ – Bill Withers
- For fucks sake, never ever fist bump anyone.
Ok – I know I committed to teaching you how to have a shit life – but fuck me that was actually exhausting to write out.
Fuck it, I hope you know this – but I can’t leave you here ON A MONDAY of all days with that list fresh in your mind.
For that sake of positivity, lets invert that list to invert the outcome.
I won’t even say, this is how to be happy – but at the minimum this list will tell you how to NOT be Unhappy.
How to not be unhappy.
- Get outside for a little bit, every day.
- Invest as much as you can in your own personal development (I have no budget when it comes to books, for example – rigorous investment)
- Move as much as possible
- Take some personal responsibility for your situation (this isn’t the same as beating yourself up)
- Commit yourself completely to being better at at least one thing at a time.
- Never take yourself too seriously
- Never take life too seriously (none of us are getting out of here alive)
- Look for reasons why things could work out
- Realize the ‘lucky’ and successful have issues just like you do
- Always say hello first
- Don’t criticize those who are doing well, look to become better in your own life (You’ll never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you)
- Be happy for others success, and tell them.
- Understand that overnight success has probably been busting their asses for a fucking long ass time
- Be that ucker who says ‘Happy Monday’ with a smile
- Have faith in your path, don’t let others opinions change that.
- Surround yourself with people who respectfully challenge your views and beliefs
- Take nothing personally, but give empathy to negative fucks
- Put your trolley away
- Listen to ‘Lovely Day’ – Bill Withers (TOP TIP: This is a great morning alarm)
- Fist bump literally everyone
To take it one step further with you all, I’ll share one of my more ‘whooey’ beliefs.
As a general rule, it fucking paaaays to be optimistic.
If you expect to have a good day, you probably will. If you expect to have a good training session, you probably will. If you expect to go about your life and be lucky most of the time, you probably will.
It’s the same in reverse.
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I’ll often use the phrase, ‘Things work out for me’ to describe small wins.
It can be as small as finding a dollar on the street that is later used in a purchase so I don’t have to split a larger bill
(Actually very, very satisfying)
Or being blessed enough to get a seat on a plane without anyone sitting next you you
(Ask any of my frequent snap chatters – this happens an annoyingly high % of the time hehe)
Regardless of how big or small the win is, I celebrate it with ‘Well, shit. I guess things work out for me’
My theory here is;
I don’t get any luckier than any other person out there, I just notice it more. I look for the silver linings every day. I practice gratitude. When you look for things to smile about, you’ll find them.
Being grateful doesn’t have anything to do with how lucky you get, it’s the other way around. Being lucky has everything to do with how grateful you are.
SO – please, practice some gratitude today.
Even if it’s just before you go to sleep – ask yourself (or your partner), ‘What are 3 things I’m/You’re grateful for today?’
And then, you can tell them, “I’m so glad I get an email from Michael every Monday, that shit is straight fire – what a guy”
One more tip for ways to become happier
Important to note here the use of the word ‘become’ rather than ‘be’. Happiness is not a black and white state of being. If you would like to be happier, it doesn’t just happen – you need to work on it. It’s a journey.
And an easy first step you can take, right now, is ruthless consistency to self-development.
It doesn’t have to be much, just be consistent with it.
If your lifestyle only permits you to have 1 gym session a week, let’s do it.
Let me make sure your path to self-development is as efficient, effective, safe & quick as possible.
I want you to become an online client of mine.
Let me help you become more.
It’s easy, effective & will give you 10 times your investment back.
Email me back to get started.
I Love You,
The luckiest guy in the world.