The Happy Monday Mindset #44

Self Fuckery



1. As per usual, stop that ‘Urgh, it’s Monday’ whiney shit. Cut it out.

You’re only making it harder on yourself to get up & get going. Try something different, like – I dunno, deciding to have a great Monday or something.

2. Happy Monday

I got into a bit of a spat on Instagram this week after posting about self-care & what it should mean, and what it’s not.

I am very sure there is a basic chick out there right now, gaining followers by posing next to a pool with her ass out & hashtagging #selfcare with a strawberry daiquiri.

The point I made is that this is not self-care, it’s an indulgence & should be recognised as one.

I stated that I believe that the term ‘self-care’ is too often used to describe indulgences – as a justification for what could be better choices.

I am by no means saying indulgences are bad, either.

That is 100% NOT what I’m about

I smashed down a burger, chips & potato scallops last night with my housemate. SO WHAT. 

(I will let it be known that I made sure that I would still be in a fkn calorie deficit by reducing caloric intake Monday – Friday)

I’m just about just calling a spade a spade.

(and a dickhead a dickhead. Like anyone who denies that a calorie deficit is the ONLY way to lose weight. They are dickheads)

Don’t go get yourself a Strawberry Daiquiri & sit around doing nothing and #selfcare.

#treats or #metime if you must, but self-care – no.

Self-care is giving yourself what you need so you may operate at your best.

Sleep (between 7 – 9 hours for the average adult)

Nutritious foods (most of them time, hehe)

Adequate physical activity

Spending time doing what you like & enjoy

Making progress working towards goals & aspirations (personally, I think this one is looked over by a lot of people)

This shit matters and defining a difference between ‘self-care’ and ‘indulgences’ is important.

When you label something as self-care, you are allowing yourself to partake in an activity that will encourage a net positive return on your growth, development, happiness & health.

That’s fucking cool and we should all learn to prioritise our own self-care.

It may be:

  • Having a nap most days (like me hehe)
  • Weekly sensory deprivation tank sessions
  • Training 4 times a week
  • Hitting your caloric needs every damn day
  • Giving yourself the time needed to read more

This type of activity doesn’t need to be accounted for. You shouldn’t need to save up calories pre/post event, stress yourself over doing it or not.

It should be something that adds value to your life without any negative consequences.

You get the point.

An indulgence is when you allow yourself to partake in an activity that may or may not have a net positive return on your growth, development, happiness & health – but is fun anyway.

It could be:

  • Smashing 1200 beers with the boys on the weekend (I lost count after 1000, just assuming)
  • Having a cheeky, calorie dense, slice of cake
  • Buying yourself a nice lil sumthin’ sumthin’
  • Ballin out on a friend

An indulgence does need to be accounted for.

If you’re buying something, you will either need to save up for it or pay for in on credit, in which you will have to pay off post purchase.

If it’s a treat, you need to save up calories prior to the event, or restrict post event, to ensure you don’t go into a calorie surplus.

(If weight loss is the goal)

You pickin up what I’m putting down??

(cmon. Pick it up. I’ve put it down right in front of you. PICK. IT. UP.)

The problem I have with people labelling what is an indulgence as an act of self care is that they are reinforcing to themselves that they don’t need to account for it.

This is where so many people get it wrong, their progress stalls (bc they aren’t accounting for the indulgences) and then they throw in the towel!


Just make sure you make up for it appropriately.

If you don’t, it will end up having a negative impact on your life.

It’s just about balance, that’s all.

“Every action you take is a vote for the person you are going to be” – James Clear

Make sure you have a balance of actions.

The ones that propel you forward & the ones that stop you from burning out.

Successful people understand that each action they take is more than just a onetime transaction.

They add up over time, like paper votes being cast in different piles.

You might think that this one decision doesn’t matter. This one sleep in, this one cheat meal, this one session missed.

But remember, it only takes 51% of votes for someone to be President.

It only takes 51% of actions to take you from someone who works out more than not.

It only takes 51% of actions to go from someone who doesn’t care about their personal growth, to someone who does.

“You are becoming who you are going to be, so may as well not be a fucking dickhead” – Naess, M 2020.

(More banger quotes in 2020 for ya).

Speaking of not being a dickhead,

Choose to prioritise your personal growth & self-development, one act, one vote, at a time.

Know when you’re indulging, and how to make up for it.

Know when you need self-care, and how to implement it.

Know how to sign on to my online coaching and employ me to help you in your self- development journey.

You’ll learn about how to use diet, exercise & your mind set as tools for your self- development.

You’ll learn how to make it all work & fit in your busy life.

You’ll learn how to prioritise these activities and let go of the bullshit.

What’s more, you’ll have a plan for your self-development.

That, is fucking cool.

$25 a week for online exercise programming, nutritional programming, 1 on 1 access to me & access to my resource library.


Get into it here:


Still getting over #notselfcaresaturday

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